I recently spoke to my Doctor. Who incidently, is very cool and will enthusiastically prescribe anything for you, no questions asked and goes by the name of Larry instead of Doctor. Anyways, he called me at 9:30 p.m. to inform me I both do not have syphillus and do have dangerously high cholesterol. Damn. Syphillus can be cured in one week. Cholesterol will be a lifelong struggle. At first I thought it had to be some sort of mistake, I'm 28, work out 6 days a week, drink lots of cholesterol lowering alcohol products and eat sardines for breakfast. Then he mentioned something about animal fats causing high cholesterol and I then fondly recalled just a handful of meals I consumed in the past week:
1) A 3 hour dim sum session where I gladly finished the extra dumpling when 5 were served for our party of four. We were also seated at the same table as another party who had 2/3rds of it not prefer the flavor of tripe. They offered-I ate.
2) 1/7 of a nine pound pork shoulder, a dozen oysters, a sort of fried pigs head pate, chicken mousse and pork belly buns at momufuko.
3) About 7 assorted german sausages my parents brought me to celebrate october fest...I finished those off with 3 smoked chickens and 3 turkey legs over the next couple days
4) See below for my night in flushing
It was a pretty normal week.
Anyone have any advice? I really prefer not to change my spectacular lifestyle. Drugs? Oatmeal? Herbs? Sardines for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
3 comments:
writing a blog that no one reads
I read your effin' blog! Never mind your cholesterol, how does your colon put up with that kind of diet?
Don't deprive yourself totally of the cow, maybe just replace some of the cow meals with chicken or fish. See where that gets you.
Jonathan.
I can believe that maybe, somewhere, there is is such a thing as an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I can even believe there might be such a thing as an unhealthy relationship with sex.
But I refuse to believe you can have an unhealthy relationship with meat. Unless you're having drunken, irresponsible sex with meat, which, frankly, sounds like something you would do.
I'm going to get you some vegetables when I get home. And you can get me a pastrami sandwich.
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